From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
