Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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