You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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