I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
