No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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