gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i drank out of a bidet.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
