i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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