I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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