apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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