i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
