I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
