Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
