Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
