so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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