ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
