This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
