i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
