Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
