my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
