i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's never too late to be topless.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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