Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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