Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
