i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
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In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
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My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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