hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
