Don't make out with my wife yet
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
