from now on my penis is your penis
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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