One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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