never play flip cup with pint glasses
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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