If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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