as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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