I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
