I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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