Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
