clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
