yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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