too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
