I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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