I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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