You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
