I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize