"it" just moved
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
