My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
