THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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