The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
foreskin is a definite game changer
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
