I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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