He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
