she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
