Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize