you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
