i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
