I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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