is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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