the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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