Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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