Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Randomize
