Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
