About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
