none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
