So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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