I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
