just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize