If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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