your room smells of hookers.
And success
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
