So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
