My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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